Identity Crisis 102

So this past Thursday, I was called a nerd by a TSA agent. (What the what?!) I shall explain… I’m at the airport going through security. In just a few short moves, I have all my electronics in one container, my heels, belt and cardigan in another, and I’m ready to walk through the metal detector (like a boss!). I get through and redress as I’m waiting for my work bag and carry-on to come through. The TSA guy comes up and engages me in conversation (yada yada), and then asks me what I do. So I tell him I’m an IT Consultant, and he says “the nerdy kind”. I smile and agree good-naturedly before collecting my stuff and walking away. Now, I was not offended as I’m rather easygoing, but it gave me pause. I have been known to count my stairs as I climb them; I come up with patterns that no one else I know seems to pay attention to; I have been known to remember multiple credit card numbers by heart (usually only mine… *shifty eye movements*), or people’s birthdays without the help of Facebook. Now I’m no Rain Man, just a girl who likes puzzles; Is that a crime?! (“Don’t be frown, nerdy brown!” – my sister said this to me just the other day!) Maybe I am a nerd…

Then again, this afternoon a close friend of mine called me a hippie! Granted, I seem to have a few “hippie” tendencies about me. I do yoga, I meditate (let me not lie, I attempt to), I’m spiritual and not religious (don’t even get me started, that’s a topic for a whole other post!), I use car-sharing (well, I did donate my car after all), I eat organic food, and I seem to be leaning toward the Socialist way of life. (It’s just more civilized!! What’s so wrong about wanting healthcare made available to all?) So what if I’m not a large fan of guns, or don’t think war is a good idea, or the government should tax us and provide services that are, at the very least, basic human rights? (I’m surprised he and I are such good friends!) Hmm… Maybe I am a hippie…

Well, I’m not quite ready to move into a commune and give up regular leg-shaving. I have been known to take a shining to the finer things in life. I do enjoy traveling for work, which means flying (environment be damned!) and staying in hotels each week. And I seem to have fallen into an easy rhythm of doing so in a very short time. My father had once called me a spoiled brat. I believe it was because I was complaining about having to go to the village to visit his parents. (Yeah, you read that right… I did say village, with huts and all!) I was upset about the conditions we were going to have to endure while there. I shall explain some more… I used to get severe eye allergies, which usually had to be helped by taking eye-drops with steroids. My sister also had severe allergies caused by the grass that would render her useless due to the sneezing, eye-watering, and coughing. And my mother had to help out the other women collect water from the river or cook in the kitchen hut, which was so damn hot and smoky, while the men sat under trees drinking beer all day – ridiculous gender roles! So if not wanting to suffer through all that made me spoiled, then maybe I am a spoiled brat…

Speaking of gender roles… I seem to be rather independent. (I do have my own toolbox – with real tools!)  I kill spiders myself, I actually have beer in my fridge that is for me, and I am a huge fan of football (the real one you play with your feet – “soccer” for the North Americans – Hala Madrid!!). I have also been known to enjoy eating Cheetos while playing Wii. Some of my favorite TV shows include Tosh.0, Workaholics, The Simpsons, Family Guy, and American Dad. Maybe I am a bit ‘dude’ inside…

But my taste does extend beyond entertainment enjoyed by young, white males, 18-24. I am big on HGTV, especially House Hunters International! I have also been known to voice the opinion that they don’t make good music like they used to in the 90’s. (I have indeed been known to enjoy the soulful sounds of Michael Bolton! – who doesn’t love “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You”?!) I did just make a playlist on Spotify called “Cassette Tape (Songs From My Childhood)” which does happen to include such epic tracks as ‘Dreams’ by Fleetwood Mac and ‘Africa’ by Toto. So maybe I am an old soul…

Well, maybe I am all these things, and that’s ok. It makes me interesting and complex, multidimensional.  I embrace the differences within myself. (That’s why I’m rarely bored when I’m alone!) I am all these things and so much more! And that’s the beauty of people; we are all diverse in so many ways, which gives for interesting tales. We should appreciate one another for the differences between us, and embrace the variations that are out there in this world. =^)

P.S. I apologize for my failure to write during the week. I know, I still suck!!

Maybe I should meditate…

So, I seem to be having trouble concentrating today. I keep finding myself distracted by the most ridiculous things, like playing “Flags Quiz” or “Logos Quiz” or “Fruit Ninja“! (I’ve been alternating all day!) Or watching TV when I sit down to write. I can’t even find the right genre of music to listen to. I’ll listen to one, then swap halfway through the song! (Oy vey!!)

This is not going to be a long one (I know, I suck!!) because I waited too long and now I need to get some sleep. I’m hoping this sleep will help me organize my scattered mind! There’s a lot of shit going on up there, and not much of it is very valuable! And the stupid smoke detector which has been going off in the house next door for the last 10 hours is not helping. (Burn down already!!! – that may have been a little harsh, but it’s driving me crazy!) Ok, time to ‘respawn’…

P.S. For my absolute fail this week, I believe I owe a better midweek post. (Hopefully this will give me the kick I need – we shall hold our thumbs!)

You Are What You Eat…

A few months back, I had the pleasure/fright of watching “Hungry for Change” and it inspired me to make a change to the food I was eating. Now, mind you, this was not the first film to scare the toxins out of me (I also watched “Food Matters” and “Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead“). But it gave me enough of a shake to try to make a change. (Well, not until after my vacation to Italy! I know, I’m weak! And thank goodness, otherwise I would have missed out on the best tiramisu in the world – more on that later!)

I decided to start small. I began to incorporate juicing into my diet. There were multiple reasons for this. As the films indicated, our diets need to consist of 51% or more of raw organic fruits and vegetables. Now I grew up in a household that cooked everything, usually in oil. My sister had a condition/allergy that prevented her from keeping anything green and fresh down (something to do with enzymes), so all vegetables had to be thoroughly cooked. I never learnt how to eat raw vegetables, so this was not going to be a piece of cake. (Oh, now I want some cake!) My thought was that salads were for finicky women, women who did not have their own toolbox (which I own)! So, like I said, I started small. I didn’t get rid of my old diet cold turkey (hmm, turkey *stomach growl*). I knew the more I cut out, the more I would desire. I shall explain…

Imagine your favorite food/meal, prepared in your favorite way. For me, this would be fillet mignon cooked medium rare with a red wine reduction, mashed potatoes, sauteed spinach mushrooms and onions, topped with mushroom soup. (*Drooling* Dammit, I shouldn’t have written this post on an empty stomach!) Now imagine never being allowed to eat this food/meal ever again. Wouldn’t you crave it more?! (*Wait for a pause, then nod*) Exactly! Juicing seemed to be the best choice as I would be able to introduce a large number of raw vegetables I otherwise wouldn’t have tried. I started with vegetables such as celery, romaine lettuce, cucumbers, kale, bok choy, carrots, and herbs like parsley and cilantro. I partnered these with fruits such as apples, oranges, pears, lemons, mangoes, and strawberries. At first, it was hard to get used to. The taste was unfamiliar, and not sweet enough at times. This was just because I grew up, partly, in the States where every meal has sugar in it! After a few attempts though, I found I was really enjoying the taste. I also noticed that regular fruit juice was too sweet for me and I had to water it down!

One of my juicing efforts (with my cheap juicer)

End Product

Now don’t get me wrong, I haven’t fully converted to anything just yet! I still have been known to give into temptation… a lot!! I did that just yesterday, bought myself a giant chocolate-chip cookie from the store around the corner from my house. Not to mention my Thursday night cure for a hangover that involves Popeye’s Chicken, which is so much better than KFC in my opinion, especially when driving my Zipcar BMW (only ever use the drive-thru)! When I’m looking to get my sweet fix, I give in to making myself crepes with Nutella (the most wonderful thing in the world)!!

Homemade Crepes with Nutella (note: the kiwi does not go well with this)

Moving on…

I recently, as in a mere 3 days ago, watched two more documentaries that made me re-evaluate my already re-evaluated food choices: “Food, Inc.” and “Forks Over Knives“. Since then, I have been having the toughest time making breakfast. Normally, I would have an egg, some bacon, smoked salmon, spinach, onion, and peppers. Mind you, this was usually eaten around 10am and I would only start getting hungry around 6pm. But since watching those two films, I have found I get to noon without eating anything! By then, I’m so hungry that I give in and eat something like chicken and chips (oh yeah, I’m not proud)!! I’m not saying it was a bad idea watching these films, in fact the opposite! I’m just having a wee bit of trouble finding the best thing to eat after such eye-opening revelations. (If the saying is right, ‘you are what you eat’, and you eat crap… then I guess that makes you crap!) It’s also got me concerned about what I’ll be eating now that I will be living in a hotel 4 days out of the week while on this new project I’m starting soon. It’s been easier to eat healthy organic choices while at home, but now I have to rely on someone else preparing my meals. I guess we’ll have to see how it goes. I’ll keep you posted! =^)

P.S. I was originally going to write a post about procrastination, but I kept putting it off!

Spare Some Change?

(*Cue tragic music*) Spare some change gov’ner! Oh, the unpleasantness of poverty. Empty pockets full of holes as fingers bore into them in search of hidden treasure, growling stomachs that just can’t be silenced. Oh the injustice…! (*Cue record scratch sound*) Wait a minute! I think we’re talking about the wrong change…

… So, I have had a change come up in my life recently. I had been wishing for this change for quite some time, even allowing myself to resort to prayer!! I had thought that this particular change (which happens to be work-related) would never come… and then it did. Almost out of the blue, and I was not as prepared as I had thought. I thus began to freak out. I questioned whether I had made the right choice, asked my friends and colleagues their opinions, and hid in the bathroom stall to hyperventilate (you know, the usual)! Life is funny that way! Change can be invigorating and terribly frightening all at once. But it is necessary to move forward in life, and this particular change was needed as I was in quite a miserable state. Have you ever found yourself sitting at your cube and bursting into tears? No… that was just me? (Don’t judge me; it’s my cube, it’s where I come to cry!) Ok… So this change was much needed! That being said, I am now apprehensive of what is to come. ( I know, emotional roller-coaster much?!) So why is it that we are so afraid of change? Let’s dig deeper shall we…

Change can come in many shapes and sizes. Emotional changes, physical changes (I’m not only referring to puberty, so stop thinking about it. Focus!), mental changes, seasonal changes, temperature changes, time changes, altitude changes even. (You get the idea!) Throughout our lives, we go through numerous changes. Change is something we are familiar with and even expect. But it’s not that people don’t like change, it’s more a situation of being wary of the unknown that change can bring. Who likes to be unsure of themselves? Maybe some, but not many! And that is where the butterflies in the stomach, sweaty palms, and elevated heart rate come from. (Deep breaths people!)

So how does one rid themselves of this “aversion” to change? (*blink, blink…*) I don’t know… I’m not sure if we’re supposed to eliminate it altogether. Maybe it is supposed to be there so we know to be cautious, excited, attentive, or whatever the hell it is we’re meant to feel for the situation. We just need to learn to accept, and then overcome it. It’s like a hurdles race; you don’t remove or run through the hurdles, but jump over them. (*shrugging* I don’t know, it’s the first thing that came to mind and the one thing we never did in PE class! Just go with it.) Anywho, that awful/wonderful feeling that change brings lets us know that we are alive and experiencing life! Change brings growth, no matter whether the change is good or bad. There is something new to learn from every experience we go through. I’m not saying each experience is going to be easy, some may even be excruciatingly painful. But at the end of the day, the growth we achieve from change is what really matters.

And that, my friends, is change we can believe in! Mind you, these are merely my own observations.

P.S. This post has the word “change” in it 27 times!

To be honest, I have no idea…

So I totally had a plan to write a post on a specific topic (uh-uh, no peeking!), but somehow the words have not been forth coming. Writer’s block already?! This is why I wasn’t so good at blogging last time! I seem to be going through some things; changes with work, random things at home; it’s messing up my whole system. But you will all be happy to know, my beloved readers, that I will do better (I hope!!) and keep my posts to a regular schedule. So for now, happy second half of the year! Or is that on the 2nd?… Oh well!